Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize