Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
