okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
