my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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