she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
