Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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