3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
