So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
