I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
