her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
organizing the empties. That sober.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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