I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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