I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
