thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
