if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
