508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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