I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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