I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
