Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
