are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
