I feel great
I just peed on a car
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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