I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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