He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
