I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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