dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
