Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
