I just saw a hot homeless man
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
