There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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