Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
