so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
