a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
