well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
