Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
