you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
