Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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