it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
