She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
