She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize