you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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