Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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