whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just tell him i said nine months
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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