omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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