I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
