She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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