capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
