Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
