I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
