Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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