dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
