I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
