my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize