when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
