I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
