If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
