this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
