just tell him i said nine months
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
