i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
