I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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