A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
