Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
