I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
